on second thought

i had hoped you were better people than you are. I place too much trust in people who have done nothing to earn or warrant such faith. This has always been my downfall. I suspect, though, it is a (rather) circuitous way for me to back out of the tough stuff, by hoping someone lesser-than would (or even, could) step up.

well. i gave in once, and that will be the very last time. I havent given up since. I never, ever will. fighting is terrible, and tiring. But

I am made out of fight. I am made out of all of the people i trusted to keep me safe who ended up walking right over me on their way to the door. I am made out of the teeth and nails my mother used to force me into grounds and back me into corners. I am made of court documents and backwards laws, of 600 mile journeys and men with gentle eyes and absent souls. i am made out of bad jobs and cut-throat competition. little blue pills, pink, yellow, white tiles and bad hair. i am made out of hallucinations and sheer, dirty determination that never runs thin.

i say to u now: bring it.

but come hard, come fast and be prepared. I am made of steel. no keys, no tricks and everything to lose. I will take u to the mat and make no apologies.
ever
again.