this is such a pity
we should give our love to each other
not this hate that
destroys us

dear jonas-
its a favorite song that makes me cry that i have on repeat when you are not here.
this is so sad.
our family is broken and.....i feel like nothing i say you will listen to; you are so, so mean all the time.
when this began i felt like it would work itself out at some point. I feel like the separation is a necessary movement at this point, while i still hold that it is necessary. And i really, desperately, hope it works out. I hope we can both straighten out our priorities and our selves and come back at some point new and ready for each other.

Is that a fantasy?

It seems now that we could never recover from this. You, who are now "smiling"; you who's "life is getting better everyday" while I cannot serve pancakes and watch happy couples without fighting back tears. While I run everyday like I am running from the sadness in my soul. While I wish I knew who you were.

This is not what I intended. This is not what I want. And I can't believe you can smile. I dont understand it.

-her