Vrksasana

arent you tired, yet? dont you feel exhausted at all the effort you put into being so difficult?

doesnt being so hateful take a lot out of you? it has to. I have no energy to entertain you more than half of the time, and it seems, if i had run out of vigor sooner, i would have realized the key to a peace that much more quickly.

last year (or was it longer?) I wrote a few lines about you growing up and how it just HAD to happen, that it was inevitable....

I work for a 39 yr old manager, with advanced degrees, that STILL hasnt grown up. IN FACT, he believes that he already has. he believes he has a quiet and patient demeanor and a high capacity for stress, an even temperament and enviable manner. He BELIEVES he is poised and intelligent and mindful, a good, considerate, and respected leader-- someone to be looked up to.

He also likes to chat regularly about personal pursuits, dating, and other such nonsense with no place in the workplace. he also likes to make schoolboy comments about how "sexy" and "hot" he thinks I am and how I will likely "give into my celibacy" as long as hes "around long enough." He is also screwing a fellow waitress and doling out prized shifts and sections- to her and others that do not deserve based on merit but on how much he would like them to like him.

grown up? it seems clearly the contrary.

and so, i am no longer optimistic enough to believe that time forces us all to face our realities and shirk off skewed perceptions.

i am content that life has given me you and that you are still not open to the possibility of change. I am content that you are in my life and i can greet our challenges with openness and a willingness to just let them be what they are, sit where they may in the space between you and i.