ho hum

i quit smoking
and alcohol
and caffeine
and dairy
and dating

im 20 days sober and counting....

ive started boxing again.
and yoga.
im losing weight- the weight on my body and the weight of the world
i said goodbye to him
and to her- the biggest cancers.
im making plans to reconnect with both of my children in meaningful ways. it feels right and i dont want to lose this newfound motivation. one wonders if the restlessness that results from tossing conventional distractions is the result....

it is amazing the new clarity ive gained. I suspect it is temporary, but maybe it isnt. and even if i do go back to coffee and wine, I will take with me the new set of lenses this sobriety and restraint has given me. I am gaining a clearer picture of how you operate and am learning that I wasnt the crazy one, after all. I have my faults, but I am sure now that this wasnt my fault. You werent the honest one. it was you, and not me.

you

not me

it feels awkward to say that. but good. bc its true. and its good.

20 days and counting.....

when will you clean up your act? when will you even begin to try? kevin says bdays are counted in decades now- now that youve reached thirty.....